When someone we love dearly passes away, the hurt is so deep and raw that we wonder how we can make it through each day. Since we all grieve differently, what may be helpful for one person, may not be beneficial for another. With those thoughts in mind, I would like to offer some ideas that have helped me along my journey through grief and what others have shared with me.
- Surround yourself with others as much as possible. Yes, there will be times when you may need time to process things by yourself, and that is ok. For the most part, stay connected with others.
- Share your thoughts and sadness with trusted friends and family.
- Take deep breaths because grief can sometimes feels like we have no breath left. I remember my daughter telling me this often after the loss of my son, Joe, and my husband, Paul. She would say, "breath, Mom, breath."
- Let the tears fall; please do your best not to hold them back. There is healing and cleansing in grief tears.
- If you have the energy, journal your thoughts and feelings. Writing things down helps to get what is in our minds and hearts on paper or computer documents. In time, we can go back and read those thoughts.
- Spend some time outside; the fresh air can help clear your mind.
- In a book titled "Why?" written by Anne Graham-Lotz (daughter of Billy Graham), one of the sentences that have stayed with me is "understand, that you will never understand why this side of heaven." Yes, we want answers to why we lose loved ones, why loved ones get sick, and why so many things happen the way they do in our lives. We may never know, which is a harsh reality to face. Yet, we can ask the Lord to help us through these difficult times and for Him to give us peace.
- Grief Share is a beautiful and helpful resource that has helped so many. They offer support groups where you can meet with others that are going through loss. If meeting in a group is not something you want to do, you can also sign up for their free daily encouragement emails. The sign-up form is on their website. As one said, "helped me simply get through the day." I want to add that those daily emails helped me tremendously.
Please know none of us are alone as we journey through grief. Many family and friends will tell us, "I'm here for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do." Please be sure to take them up on their offer. They want to help and sometimes may not know how. When we respond to them, they will be so happy they can help.
With love,
Patty
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