Showing posts with label Reflections On Grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections On Grief. Show all posts

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Saying The Names Of Our Lost Loved Ones In Conversations


During lunch with one of my daughters, we talked about our favorite salad dressings, and she told me her favorite is the french salad dressing. At that moment, I remembered it was also my late husband, Paul's (her dad's) favorite salad dressing, and I said, "That was Dad's favorite salad dressing too," and she said, "Yeah, that's right." I told her, "It's nice to say his name; I miss that." She agreed.
Often, while having conversations, when I recall a memory of my son, Joe, and or my late husband, Paul, it allows me to say their names, which I appreciate.
How do you feel about saying the names of your lost loved ones? Feel free to comment below; I would enjoy hearing from you.

With love,
Patty

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Sunday, January 15, 2023

Reflections On The Loss Of Parents Of Two Dear Friends


In December of 2022, I attended two funerals, one for the father of a dear friend and one for the mother of a dear friend. As I listened to the stories of each of their lives, I learned that they experienced many blessings and hardships. The one thing that stood out more than anything is that they firmly believed in the Lord. They left a legacy of faith for their families and friends. 
To my dear friends, I extend my deepest sympathy.
In our lives, we also experience blessings and hardships. May knowing that those who have gone before us kept their faith in the Lord be an encouragement to each of us to keep the faith.

With love,
Patty






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Sunday, December 18, 2022

Are You Missing Lost Loved Ones This Christmas?



Are you missing lost loved ones this Christmas? Whether this is your first Christmas without them or your 15th, 30th, or anywhere in between, it can bring many emotions, and most of all, you want more than ever to have them here to celebrate. How I wish I could take your pain away if only I could.
As I journey through grief since the loss of my son, Joe, in 2008 and the loss of my husband, Paul, in 2017, I can offer a few suggestions that have helped along the way:
  • Lighting a candle in their memory and letting it burn throughout the day and evening helps keep their memory alive.
  • Share a favorite memory with others that make you smile if you feel up to it.
  • Is there a food that your loved one especially liked? If so, bring that food to the Christmas gathering and let everyone know this was their favorite.
  • Letting the tears fall is okay; this shows your love for them.
  • Surround yourself with those that will support you and care for you in your grief.
  • Please understand that grief can and will come when you least expect it. Knowing this has helped me tremendously, and my prayer is that it will also help you.
Let us pray together.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We thank you for sending Your Son, Jesus as a humble baby. We also miss our lost loved ones as we celebrate Christmas with family and friends. Please give us the strength to get through and find happiness with those around us. 
In Jesus' name, we pray,
Amen

With love,
Patty


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Sunday, November 13, 2022

Novembering-A Time To Remember And Honor Our Lost Loved Ones

 

November is the time of year when the weather begins to move into colder temperatures here in Minnesota. November is also when we begin to start preparations for Thanksgiving festivities. As we work on those preparations, our minds and hearts go to the thoughts on how we will not have our lost loved ones with us. Novembering is a time to remember and honor our lost loved ones. Feel free to share your lost loved one's name; if you have a memory that comes to mind, you are also welcome to share it. Lighting a candle in their honor shows their memory still lives on. 
I'm sorry for your loss. Please know that the Lord cares about you. 

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

With love,

Patty



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Sunday, September 11, 2022

We All Grief Differently-Offering Some Ideas That Have Helped Me Along My Journey Through Grief And What Others Have Shared With Me


When someone we love dearly passes away, the hurt is so deep and raw that we wonder how we can make it through each day. Since we all grieve differently, what may be helpful for one person, may not be beneficial for another. With those thoughts in mind, I would like to offer some ideas that have helped me along my journey through grief and what others have shared with me.
  • Surround yourself with others as much as possible. Yes, there will be times when you may need time to process things by yourself, and that is ok. For the most part, stay connected with others.
  • Share your thoughts and sadness with trusted friends and family.
  • Take deep breaths because grief can sometimes feels like we have no breath left. I remember my daughter telling me this often after the loss of my son, Joe, and my husband, Paul. She would say, "breath, Mom, breath."
  • Let the tears fall; please do your best not to hold them back. There is healing and cleansing in grief tears.
  • If you have the energy, journal your thoughts and feelings. Writing things down helps to get what is in our minds and hearts on paper or computer documents. In time, we can go back and read those thoughts.
  • Spend some time outside; the fresh air can help clear your mind.
  • In a book titled "Why?" written by Anne Graham-Lotz (daughter of Billy Graham), one of the sentences that have stayed with me is "understand, that you will never understand why this side of heaven." Yes, we want answers to why we lose loved ones, why loved ones get sick, and why so many things happen the way they do in our lives. We may never know, which is a harsh reality to face. Yet, we can ask the Lord to help us through these difficult times and for Him to give us peace. 
  • Grief Share is a beautiful and helpful resource that has helped so many. They offer support groups where you can meet with others that are going through loss. If meeting in a group is not something you want to do, you can also sign up for their free daily encouragement emails. The sign-up form is on their website. As one said, "helped me simply get through the day." I want to add that those daily emails helped me tremendously.
Please know none of us are alone as we journey through grief. Many family and friends will tell us, "I'm here for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do." Please be sure to take them up on their offer. They want to help and sometimes may not know how. When we respond to them, they will be so happy they can help.

With love,
Patty


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Sunday, August 28, 2022

Riding The Waves Of Grief


Today, I'm sharing a very transparent, heartfelt post on grief and how grief will happen at the most unexpected times and places.
A few items were on my list, so I quickly stopped at the grocery store and brought my things to the counter. The young man at the check register said in a friendly voice, "how's it going? My reply was, "good, how about you?" He nodded and said, "good." As I was waiting for the total due, it hit me; his friendliness and smile reminded me of my son, Joe. Honestly, I was not looking for someone to remind me of my son that day, yet it happened. I handed him my payment; I smiled and thanked him. Thankfully, my sunglasses were within reach because tears were streaming down my face as I walked out of the store. Driving home, I realized it had been fourteen years since my son passed away; I learned how his personality was buried deep within me. A wave of grief swept over me, and the Lord helped me recover.
In talking with others about grief, many have shared the same experiences of how grief will hit them at times they were not expecting. How about you? Have you had moments of remembering your loved one? If you have, feel free to comment below.

Riding the waves of grief is a lifelong journey. Here are a few ways that can be helpful when they do arrive:

  • Know the waves of grief will happen and embrace them the best you can.
  • Let the tears fall, which is better than holding them back.
  • Record the waves of grief in a journal.
  • Pray that the Lord will help you quickly recover.
  • Share the wave of grief with others.
  • These waves of grief show the love we have and always will have for our lost loved ones.
  • May you find comfort in Scripture, as we read in 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, "May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."


Let us pray together,

Dear Heavenly Father,

The waves of grief can come at times when we least expect it. We ask for Your help to embrace these moments and bring us the strength that only comes from You to recover.

In the name of Jesus, we pray,

Amen




With love,

Patty

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Thursday, August 25, 2022

Happy Heavenly Birthday To My Son, Joe


Thirty-three years ago today, my late husband, Paul, and I welcomed a son into our family. At his birth, we did not realize we would only have him here for eighteen years. During those years, there are many memories to recall. One memory, mainly, was when I took him to the barbershop for a haircut when he was three years old. The gentleman seated in the chair at the time was bald on top and had hair on the sides. As the barber was trimming his hair, Joe said to me in his innocence, "I don't want to get my hair cut like that." I had all I could to keep laughing, yet I was also embarrassed. The barber smiled at me.
I like to acknowledge Joe's birthday here on my blog. 
If you are a mom that has lost a child, please know that you are not alone. Do you have a memory you would like to share? I would love to read about it. Feel free to comment below, or contact me. My connect button is on the sidebar of this blog.
I want to share my prayer to the Lord on this day. You are welcome to use this prayer and fill in your child's name.

Thank you, Lord, that Joe was a part of my life.
Thank you, Lord, for having memories I can hold onto that bring me healing.
Amen

With love, 
Patty

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Thursday, April 28, 2022

Reflections On The Loss Of My Son Fourteen Years Later


Fourteen years ago today, my life changed in a way I never thought possible. At 18 years old, my son, Joe, died tragically. I miss him every day, and I will always wonder why. Yet, I understand I may never know why this side of heaven, and I will remain grateful he was a part of my life. 

One thing that has helped me along the way is to not focus on his death. Instead, I have asked family and friends to recall a happy memory of Joe, and I love when they share them with me.

One, in particular, Joe, worked at a local car wash. A friend of my mother's said she liked Joe's smile, and when he would use the sprayer to clean off her car, he would wink at her. So sweet, and I can see him doing this.

As we each go through the journey of losing loved ones, the anniversary of their death is challenging to say the least. There is no right or wrong way to handle the day, and I pray that you can find a way to bring some comfort to yourself. 

I would like to offer this Bible verse:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

With love,
Patty





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Saturday, April 23, 2022

Wedding Memories

 Today would have been our 39th Wedding Anniversary. Although Paul is no longer here, I still feel it is important to acknowledge the day we began our lives together. We received so much love from family and friends that helped make the day extra special.
I have shared wedding memories in the following blog posts if you would like to read them here:
As I journey through life, I like to reflect on memories. 
In closing, I wanted to share this photo of us at our wedding dance. We undoubtedly were enjoying our day. My thoughts go to the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words."
  

Thank you for visiting my small humble blog.

With love, 
Patty

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Sunday, March 27, 2022

To The Woman Who Has Lost A Child


Oh, I want to take the reality from you that you lost your child. If only I could, I certainly would. There is one thing that I can offer, God knows your pain, and He keeps track of your sorrows and tears as we read in Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
The past few days, I've been thinking a lot about what my son, Joe, would look like at 32 years old. The tears fall hard and fast. Knowing God keeps track of my tears doesn't take the yearning away, but it does give some comfort to know He is here for me, as He is here for you. 
I know the importance of living in the moment and being thankful for the family and friends that I have here with me now. It's ok to have times when we miss and want our child here with us. Please know that you are not alone.
In a previous post, I shared some encouragement on the loss of a child. You are welcome to read it here: Sprinkle Of Encouragement.

May you rest this week knowing God sees your tears, and He cares about your broken heart.

With love,
Patty





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Saturday, February 19, 2022

Reflections On The 5th Anniversary Of The Loss Of My Husband, Paul


We all grieve differently, and I always want to be respectful of this very thing. 
Yet, we do miss our loved ones every day, and when the anniversary arrives, it brings many emotions of knowing it's another day of missing them. Today is the 5th anniversary of the loss of my husband, Paul, and the father to my three daughters. I'm thankful for family and friends that send sweet text messages of prayers, hugs, and encouragement-I love this. I also had heartfelt conversations with my daughters, Mom, and sister, which I appreciate and cherish.
In your grief, may this Scripture verse bring comfort to you:
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18 (NIV).
As I journey through loss, I like to focus on happy moments. The photo below was taken when we were dating, Christmas, 1982.
With love, 
Patty




 

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Sunday, November 28, 2021

Reflections On The Loss Of My Aunt


On Saturday, November 27, 2021, I attended the funeral of my aunt, my Mom's oldest sister. My many fond memories are of her cooking and baking in the kitchen, which I would say was her favorite place to be. Her eight children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were her pride and joy. She loved every one of them.
At a young age, she overcame the loss of some of her fingers in a farming accident, yet she didn't let that stop her from living a life full of love and serving others. Before the farming accident, she played the piano at her local church. My mind can't stop thinking about how she is now playing the piano for Jesus. 
Rest in peace, aunt Dorothy.

Thank you for visiting my blog today. 

With love,
Patty




 

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Sunday, November 21, 2021

The Beginning Of The Holiday Season-We Can Still Be Present, And Also Miss Our Lost Loved Ones


This Thursday, November 25, 2021, is the Thanksgiving Holiday, a time of year to give thanks for the blessings in our lives. It also marks the beginning of the holiday season of festivities with family and friends. We can still be present at gatherings and also miss our lost loved ones. Although I never claim to be an expert, I would like to offer a few suggestions that can be helpful:
  • Light a candle and have it burn throughout the day in the memory of your lost loved ones. The candle will serve as a visual to acknowledge them.
  • If you feel comfortable with memories, ask others to share a memory of your lost loved one. In return, share one of your memories.
  • At times, we can become so focused on our own circumstances. Asking others what is going on in their lives can help shift our focus.
  • Stepping out into the fresh air can help clear our minds, even for a few minutes.
  • Prayer can help us with any difficulties we might be having each day and during the holiday season. Jesus is always here for us. This Bible verse is something we can hold onto "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippines 4:13 (NLT)
Let us pray together,
Dear Heavenly Father,
As we begin this holiday season, we are thankful for the many blessings in our lives. Namely_____________________ (feel free to write the blessings).  
We also miss our lost loved ones. We ask for Your help and know that we can do all things through Christ that gives us strength.

In the name of Jesus,
Amen

With love,
Patty



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Sunday, November 14, 2021

Reflections On Novembering-A Time To Honor And Remember Lost Loved Ones


Have you heard of the term Novembering? If you have, feel free to comment below. I would love to hear about your experience.
Personally, I had never heard of Novembering until 2011, three years after my son, Joe died. The church my sister attended had a service to honor and remember lost loved ones. The service included prayers, music, and speakers to encourage everyone. The time was both emotional and healing, yet I appreciated that I could attend this service.
On Saturday, November 13, 2021 (which was yesterday), I attended a Novembering Luncheon for widows with an organization called Widow Might. The event included a sit-down lunch, a speaker, and fellowship with other women who lost their husbands. They asked us to bring a photo of our husband to the table as we had our lunch. If we chose to, we could light a candle in memory of our husband.  As each of us walked out the door, they handed us a single rose. This event was a blessing to attend. 



                                                                     




I thought it would be nice to have a Novembering here on this blog post. Please feel free to share the name of your lost loved ones, including a memory if you would like as well.



"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

With love,
Patty


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Sunday, September 12, 2021

Reflections On Grief-First Experience With Losing A Loved One


Do you recall the first time you experienced the loss of a loved one? Do you remember your reaction and how you felt? 
For me, I had just turned seven years old when my paternal grandmother died in 1967.  My Dad recalls me saying through my tears, "But Daddy, I didn't want Grandma to die!" That was so true; I didn't want her to die. My grandmother was a faith-filled woman, with her trembling hands taught me to pray. I remember asking, "Why do Grandma's hands shake?" My parents told me, "she has something called Parkinson's Disease." Of course, at seven years old, I did not understand what that was; I accepted what they said because I loved her. She always wore dresses and enjoyed showing me her flower gardens. I remember going to church with both my grandmother and grandfather; I would feel so special sitting in between the two of them.  
As much as we do not like it, losing loved ones is never easy, and we will always miss them. 
Together, we will continue on our journey through life, knowing Jesus loves us and He is here to help each and every one of us.
In closing, I would like to share words from Jesus;
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." John 14:27 (NIV)

With love,
Patty


 




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Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Happy Birthday To My Son, Joe In Heaven

When the birthday of your lost loved one comes around, how do you feel? Are you overwhelmed with sadness missing your loved one? Are you wondering what they might be doing if they were still here? 
Today would be my son, Joe's 32nd birthday. I have to admit this year has hit me hard, wanting to celebrate his birthday with him. Yet, I will pick myself up again to not remain in the sadness, and be thankful he was a part of my life. I'm sharing a photo of his vibrant smile:

                                                                
I'm thankful for friends and family that call, send text messages to let me know they are thinking about our family and remembering Joe. I was able to spend some time with my three daughters this evening as well. I enjoy my time with them.
If you are missing your loved one today, I would like to leave you with this Scripture verse:

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Sending much love,
Patty

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Sunday, July 18, 2021

Reflections On The Loss Of My Sister-In-Law

 

   

On Friday, July 16, 2021, I attended the funeral of my dear sister-in-law. She was the sister of my late husband, Paul. 
Her life was full of health problems, yet she did not let those health problems define her. She had a thriving business; along with that, she created a 3500-foot perennial flower bed and had bountiful vegetable gardens. She was a talented artist and enjoyed painting. I even have one of her paintings hanging on my living room wall.  She was a loving aunt to my children. A sweet sister-in-law to me. We shared many heart-to-heart conversations (which I miss). 
As her body began to decline, her faith remained. In her own words, she said, "the medical issues are a drag, but I find joy and peace with Jesus." 
Yes, indeed, peace and joy do come from Jesus. 
Finding peace and joy is something we can strive for by reading God's word often and remaining in prayer. 
She knew her life here on earth was nearing the end, so she began to choose the Bible readings for her funeral. The Beatitudes from the Sermon On The Mount was her choice. These are the words from Jesus that we can apply to our lives today. 
May these words be a blessing to you:
 "When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for, in the same way, they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:1-12

With love, 
Patty






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Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Happy Birthday To My Husband In Heaven

 


Today would be my late husband, Paul's 67th birthday. His smile in this photo makes me smile. 
Although I miss him every day, I just wanted to acknowledge his birthday here on my blog.
In grief, the birthdays of our lost loved ones can bring many emotions-happiness, sadness, lonesomeness. For me, I feel a mixture of happiness and sadness. I'm happy that he was a part of my life, sad that I cannot celebrate with him today.
How do you feel on the birthday of your lost loved one? I would love to hear from you.
Feel free to comment below, or contact me.
My contact form is on the sidebar of this blog.

Thank you for visiting my small, humble blog.

With love,
Patty 

 

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Sunday, June 13, 2021

Reflections On Grief-To The Woman Who Has Lost Her Husband


 "The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help." 1 Timothy 5:5

As widows, we can sometimes feel that we are left alone. We wonder how we will pay the bills, take care of household chores, car maintenance, and the list goes on and on. As a result, our brains can become foggy trying to make decisions. So what are we to do? Although I will not pretend to know all the answers, I humbly offer the following thoughts:

~Seek legal advice when you have any uncertainty about finances, social security, life insurance, and other critical issues.

~Whenever possible, feed your body with wholesome foods. Grief takes a lot of energy; having healthy foods will help you to feel better. I have been guilty of not eating correctly, which gives me headaches, mood swings, and low energy. If you are looking for wholesome food recipes, I would like to recommend Farm Girl Fresh

~A grief support group can help talk things through with other women who have lost their husbands. There might even be a widow support group at your church. Widow Might is an excellent resource of information and offers support if you cannot find a widow support group.

~Professional counseling will help with decision making and just having someone to talk to privately. 

~It may not always be easy to reach out for help. Yet, many family and friends have most likely offered to help you. I encourage you to reach out to them. They will be happy that you did.

~Most importantly, pray. God knows our pain. He's here to help each one of us.

Let us pray together,

Dear Heavenly Father,

We bring our heavy hearts of missing our husbands to You. We, at times, feel all alone and do not know which way to turn or what to do. We need hope. Help us as widows to put our hope in You and to pray night and day as it tells us in 1 Timothy 5:5 "The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help." 

Thank you for being our source of hope. 

In the name of Jesus, we pray,

Amen


Thank you for visiting my small, humble blog.


With love,

Patty















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Friday, April 23, 2021

Memorable Wedding Day Moment

Grief is different for each person. We all grieve differently. For some, talking about their lost loved ones is too painful. For others, they find comfort in reliving memories and talking about their loved ones. Whatever your thoughts and feelings are about grief, it is unique to you.
As I journey through grief, I do find joy in recalling memories. Today, April 23, would be our 38th wedding anniversary. I want to share a memorable moment from our wedding day. A common tradition at wedding receptions is that the guests will begin tapping their glasses, and the newly wedded couple is supposed to kiss. Paul and I decided beforehand that we would mix it up a little and shake hands rather than kiss. Our guests started laughing and clapping. We surely did take them by surprise. Here is a photo from that moment:

                                                
This the 5th year without Paul here to celebrate. We always made sure to go on a date night on our wedding anniversary. Sometimes, in our earlier years of marriage, we would take our young children with us on our date night.
I'm thankful for my life with Paul, and I will always miss him. Having little sprinkles of memories along the way brings me joy.
How about you? Would you like to share a memory of your loved one? Feel free to comment below; I would love to hear from you.
Thank you for visiting my small, humble blog.

With love,
Patty


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